vicious_kitten (vicious_kitten) wrote in vaghags,
vicious_kitten
vicious_kitten
vaghags

  • Mood:

What Valentine's Day means to me

Ok, seeing as how it's Valentine's Day, and Miss Ruby needs her ego stroked, I thought I'd share this little story with all y'all:

When I was younger, around 10 or so, my best friend/worst enemy/next door neighbor and I were walking home from school one afternoon. She was walking in front of me, kicking dirt on me, talking down to me, ridiculing me because I was a year younger than her (my chubbiness, big pink-framed glasses, and bad perm didn't help the situation, either), hurling abuse at me as per usual, and all of a sudden she says to me, "We all know what 'pop a hard on' means. Do you?" I guess "we" referred to her and all her cool/lame friends. Either that or she was using the royal first-person plural. HA! Queen my ass!

Of course, I had no idea what she was talking about, but I pretended like I did. After all, I didn't want to seem uncool, especially around someone who was a whole year older than me. So I said, "Yeah, I know what it means!" and she just laughed. She knew I was a dumbass.

The funny thing was that I didn't quite hear what she said and not understanding the meaning of hard on at the time, I thought she said, "pop a HEART on." Afterwards, in an effort to solve the mystery I had encountered during that puzzling exchange, my head was filled with visions of hearts popping up, like they were spring-loaded or something. I knew it had to do with sex and possibly penises, but it wasn't until much later that I figured it all out, to my surprise and great relief.

So, whenever Valentine's Day rolls around, I am reminded of that day so many years ago. With all the heart imagery that keeps popping up on February 14, how could I not be reminded?

And that is what Valentine's Day means to me: hard boners with hearts on them, springing out of nowhere! SPROING!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, MOTHERFUCKERS!

Wishing you much love and big "hearty" boners not just today but every day,
Heather
ex! oh!
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
  • 3 comments